Tag: firing volunteers

Grace Versus Rules

Posted on by Bill Kirkwood

The Story

Jean was almost always late to just about everything, including worship team singer rehearsals. I always started working with the singers thirty minutes before the band arrived so we could work out vocal parts and harmonies. She would usually miss the rehearsal for the first song or two, meaning we’d all have to go back and run those again after she arrived.

Now Jean was a steadfast member of the vocal team. She had been on the team for several years before I arrived at the church. She had a beautiful, solid, soprano voice that easily carried the melody, and the sweetest disposition of anyone on the team. Her husband and children were pillars of servanthood in the church. But she was always late. 

I had spoken to Jean several times through the years about her tardiness and the effect it had on the team. Being late shows a disrespect for the other team members. It means extra work for all of us. After these conversations she would always do better for several weeks, but would eventually lapse back into her old habit.

Finally I reluctantly decided I needed to let her go from the team. Our face-to-face conversation was one of the most gut-wrenching experiences ever, with this incredibly sweet lady in tears in front of me. Now guys you know how awful it is having your wife or girlfriend crying because of something stupid you did. I can tell you it’s easily three times as bad when it’s a beloved team member pleading with you not to let them go.

In a very few minutes I realized I was making a terrible mistake. We ended up both pleading with one another, her pleading for me to not force her off  the team, and me pleading for her to try really hard to be on time. I left drained, and she was still part of the team. 

To her credit she was very much on time for several months. And I had to do some soul-searching about what my priorities are for my teams.

The Moral

The title of this story is “Grace versus Rules.” I’ve written before about how I usually tend toward grace, allowing the Spirit to work in the hearts of people rather than being harsh with the rules. Each one of us must wrestle with this bifurcation; how strict is our own personality and the culture of our worship ministry? Do you set out standards and rules in a clear manner that everyone understands? (We had a Worship Ministry Handbook that spelled out expectations.) What happens when somebody doesn’t adhere to them? 

Part of that answer depends on how severe the infraction is. Someone who is tardy should be treated differently than someone who arrives at rehearsal inebriated. In Jean’s case her tardiness did affect the efficiency of our rehearsals, but everyone loved her and knew and accepted the fact that she would be late. It was part of our culture. I don’t think it bothered anyone except me, and my ultimate response was way overkill.

The other moral of the story is to honestly weigh the benefits against the harm an individual brings. In Jean’s case, her commitment to the team in every other aspect, her contributions to the spiritual conversations, her tender care for other members, and her solid help in several other church ministries far outweighed the annoyance I had built up against her tardiness. Make sure the consequences of someone’s actions are commensurate with the harm done to the church or team.

In the end Jean apologized for her habit of tardiness, I apologized for taking a much more drastic step than was necessary, and we moved on. She and her family and I remained dear friends, and are still close friends today. 

Evaluating Volunteers

Posted on by Bill Kirkwood

The Story

When I arrived at the church in Ohio for my first full-time worship position, I inherited an amazing team of musicians. Most of them had been playing together for several years. As I became familiar with their abilities and personalities it quickly became apparent that there was one person, Kevin, who was going to be difficult. The most polite word I could use to describe him is dour, an Eeyore personality. A very good player, but he was not good at taking direction or participating in the spiritual discussions of the devotions I initiated with the team. 

Let me pause here and say I that when dealing with difficult people I tend to err on the side of grace and patience rather than harsh judgment. I figure they are at least involved in the church, hearing the sermons, and God is in the process of sanctifying them like he is with me. I just needed to give God time to work in Kevin’s life. He stayed on the team for several years, but always seemed to rub people the wrong way. 

A few years later another player with a very similar temperament came on the team. Sean was also a very good player, and I also showed grace as he seemed to be growing in his faith.

After a couple more years in mid-November the church elevated a long-time staff pastor to become lead pastor to fill our vacancy in that position. Sean and Kevin were opposed to this move, and began to make their feelings known. They never talked to me about how they felt, but I always heard from others. 

We’ve all been there, haven’t we? People say things to us about someone else and expect us to act on the information. We cannot go back to the person involved without betraying the trust of the informant. And we must decide if the informer is gossiping or not. At first I told the informer to go back to the person and help them understand if they’re going to be involved in church leadership on the worship team, they must be able to support the leaders of the church. If they could not, they had a duty to step down. Of course we all know how that goes!!

Fast forward to December, a week before our big Christmas production called WinterSong. Sean and Kevin had come through all the rehearsals and were ready to play next weekend, but their attitudes toward the new lead pastor was spilling over into the rest of the team. I had to act!

At that time I was blessed to have at least two very capable players at each position. I called the two who were not on the WinterSong roster and asked if they would be willing to jump in at the last minute. They both agreed. I ended up releasing Sean and Kevin six days before WinterSong. The two new players jumped in and learned their parts in record time. WinterSong was a beautiful experience with everyone understanding the impact of what just happened, and all pulling together to make it succeed.

The Moral of the Story

When deliberating whether to add a new person to a team, or whether to retain someone already on a team, I consider three levels. This philosophy was actually forged during this incident described above. First, I determine if this person is committed to the church. Not only if they have an active faith, but do they support this church, its leadership and its ministries. Second, I evaluate the chemistry of the person with our team. I never bring on a player or front singer without having them participate in at least two rehearsals. I observe their interactions with other members, their ability to take direction, their comfort on stage. After each rehearsal I’ll ask a couple key team members what they observed in this individual. In this way I avoid being the sole arbiter of whether or not to accept a new person onto the team. 

Finally (and lastly) I try to determine whether this position is good for that individual. Will they thrive spiritually on this team? Is their motive for participating proper? Will they improve on their instrument? 

Three levels to consider: commitment to the church, chemistry on the team, and benefit for the individual. I thought for a while that Sean and Kevin were okay with these, even though the team chemistry was off. But when they could not get on board with the new lead pastor, they had to be released. 

Another moral of the story is that it is better to have fewer people that fulfill those criteria than more that are not on the same page. We often think that in order to achieve the sound we want we have to have so many members. We have to have at least a drummer, bass player, keyboard, one or two guitars, and a couple singers. Yet the friction on your team from having even one difficult person will bring down the whole team and will be observed by the congregation. Better to have three good players and singers who love worshiping Jesus than seven who are there for the wrong reasons.

I admit I am sidestepping the whole discussion on bringing unbelievers onto the team as a way to expose them to the gospel. I’ve experienced that (I’ll write that in another story later). My philosophy is to make sure everyone who is on my church platform under my leadership does so from a place of belief and commitment to Jesus. 

As a worship team leader you are responsible for using your gifts of leadership and discernment and your team’s Spirit-given gifts to lead your church before the throne of God. Be sure everyone is on the same page.