Tag: Volunteers

Grace Versus Rules

Posted on by Bill Kirkwood

The Story

Jean was almost always late to just about everything, including worship team singer rehearsals. I always started working with the singers thirty minutes before the band arrived so we could work out vocal parts and harmonies. She would usually miss the rehearsal for the first song or two, meaning we’d all have to go back and run those again after she arrived.

Now Jean was a steadfast member of the vocal team. She had been on the team for several years before I arrived at the church. She had a beautiful, solid, soprano voice that easily carried the melody, and the sweetest disposition of anyone on the team. Her husband and children were pillars of servanthood in the church. But she was always late. 

I had spoken to Jean several times through the years about her tardiness and the effect it had on the team. Being late shows a disrespect for the other team members. It means extra work for all of us. After these conversations she would always do better for several weeks, but would eventually lapse back into her old habit.

Finally I reluctantly decided I needed to let her go from the team. Our face-to-face conversation was one of the most gut-wrenching experiences ever, with this incredibly sweet lady in tears in front of me. Now guys you know how awful it is having your wife or girlfriend crying because of something stupid you did. I can tell you it’s easily three times as bad when it’s a beloved team member pleading with you not to let them go.

In a very few minutes I realized I was making a terrible mistake. We ended up both pleading with one another, her pleading for me to not force her off  the team, and me pleading for her to try really hard to be on time. I left drained, and she was still part of the team. 

To her credit she was very much on time for several months. And I had to do some soul-searching about what my priorities are for my teams.

The Moral

The title of this story is “Grace versus Rules.” I’ve written before about how I usually tend toward grace, allowing the Spirit to work in the hearts of people rather than being harsh with the rules. Each one of us must wrestle with this bifurcation; how strict is our own personality and the culture of our worship ministry? Do you set out standards and rules in a clear manner that everyone understands? (We had a Worship Ministry Handbook that spelled out expectations.) What happens when somebody doesn’t adhere to them? 

Part of that answer depends on how severe the infraction is. Someone who is tardy should be treated differently than someone who arrives at rehearsal inebriated. In Jean’s case her tardiness did affect the efficiency of our rehearsals, but everyone loved her and knew and accepted the fact that she would be late. It was part of our culture. I don’t think it bothered anyone except me, and my ultimate response was way overkill.

The other moral of the story is to honestly weigh the benefits against the harm an individual brings. In Jean’s case, her commitment to the team in every other aspect, her contributions to the spiritual conversations, her tender care for other members, and her solid help in several other church ministries far outweighed the annoyance I had built up against her tardiness. Make sure the consequences of someone’s actions are commensurate with the harm done to the church or team.

In the end Jean apologized for her habit of tardiness, I apologized for taking a much more drastic step than was necessary, and we moved on. She and her family and I remained dear friends, and are still close friends today. 

Evaluating Volunteers

Posted on by Bill Kirkwood

The Story

When I arrived at the church in Ohio for my first full-time worship position, I inherited an amazing team of musicians. Most of them had been playing together for several years. As I became familiar with their abilities and personalities it quickly became apparent that there was one person, Kevin, who was going to be difficult. The most polite word I could use to describe him is dour, an Eeyore personality. A very good player, but he was not good at taking direction or participating in the spiritual discussions of the devotions I initiated with the team. 

Let me pause here and say I that when dealing with difficult people I tend to err on the side of grace and patience rather than harsh judgment. I figure they are at least involved in the church, hearing the sermons, and God is in the process of sanctifying them like he is with me. I just needed to give God time to work in Kevin’s life. He stayed on the team for several years, but always seemed to rub people the wrong way. 

A few years later another player with a very similar temperament came on the team. Sean was also a very good player, and I also showed grace as he seemed to be growing in his faith.

After a couple more years in mid-November the church elevated a long-time staff pastor to become lead pastor to fill our vacancy in that position. Sean and Kevin were opposed to this move, and began to make their feelings known. They never talked to me about how they felt, but I always heard from others. 

We’ve all been there, haven’t we? People say things to us about someone else and expect us to act on the information. We cannot go back to the person involved without betraying the trust of the informant. And we must decide if the informer is gossiping or not. At first I told the informer to go back to the person and help them understand if they’re going to be involved in church leadership on the worship team, they must be able to support the leaders of the church. If they could not, they had a duty to step down. Of course we all know how that goes!!

Fast forward to December, a week before our big Christmas production called WinterSong. Sean and Kevin had come through all the rehearsals and were ready to play next weekend, but their attitudes toward the new lead pastor was spilling over into the rest of the team. I had to act!

At that time I was blessed to have at least two very capable players at each position. I called the two who were not on the WinterSong roster and asked if they would be willing to jump in at the last minute. They both agreed. I ended up releasing Sean and Kevin six days before WinterSong. The two new players jumped in and learned their parts in record time. WinterSong was a beautiful experience with everyone understanding the impact of what just happened, and all pulling together to make it succeed.

The Moral of the Story

When deliberating whether to add a new person to a team, or whether to retain someone already on a team, I consider three levels. This philosophy was actually forged during this incident described above. First, I determine if this person is committed to the church. Not only if they have an active faith, but do they support this church, its leadership and its ministries. Second, I evaluate the chemistry of the person with our team. I never bring on a player or front singer without having them participate in at least two rehearsals. I observe their interactions with other members, their ability to take direction, their comfort on stage. After each rehearsal I’ll ask a couple key team members what they observed in this individual. In this way I avoid being the sole arbiter of whether or not to accept a new person onto the team. 

Finally (and lastly) I try to determine whether this position is good for that individual. Will they thrive spiritually on this team? Is their motive for participating proper? Will they improve on their instrument? 

Three levels to consider: commitment to the church, chemistry on the team, and benefit for the individual. I thought for a while that Sean and Kevin were okay with these, even though the team chemistry was off. But when they could not get on board with the new lead pastor, they had to be released. 

Another moral of the story is that it is better to have fewer people that fulfill those criteria than more that are not on the same page. We often think that in order to achieve the sound we want we have to have so many members. We have to have at least a drummer, bass player, keyboard, one or two guitars, and a couple singers. Yet the friction on your team from having even one difficult person will bring down the whole team and will be observed by the congregation. Better to have three good players and singers who love worshiping Jesus than seven who are there for the wrong reasons.

I admit I am sidestepping the whole discussion on bringing unbelievers onto the team as a way to expose them to the gospel. I’ve experienced that (I’ll write that in another story later). My philosophy is to make sure everyone who is on my church platform under my leadership does so from a place of belief and commitment to Jesus. 

As a worship team leader you are responsible for using your gifts of leadership and discernment and your team’s Spirit-given gifts to lead your church before the throne of God. Be sure everyone is on the same page.

The Right Place to Serve

Posted on by Bill Kirkwood

This story is the first of a series I’m calling, “Tales from the Worship Trenches: Fifty Years of Stories and Their Morals.” I’ve learned a lot of lessons in my 50 years of leading worship. There’ve been a lot of successes, and a lot of failures. We’ll learn from both.

The Story

When I arrived at the first church in which I served full-time, they had had a choir for several years. It was not an auditioned choir so I inherited about twenty singers of various abilities. As soon as I started working there (in the “off-season” of summer) I began hearing about an elderly couple in the choir who “could not sing to save their lives.” I thought surely they couldn’t be that bad or why would they even be in the choir? I approached the first rehearsal in the fall with a mixture of anxiety and amusement.

That rehearsal proved me wrong. As we were all gathering even the wife came up to me to tell me her husband “could not carry a tune in a bucket.” I was warned. As we went through that first rehearsal I realized everyone was right. As sweet as this couple was, and as much as everyone in the choir loved them, they could not sing at all. Now what was I to do?

After rehearsal I had a chance to sit down with this couple and ask them how it went. They were both pretty honest, “This may not be the right place for us to serve.” I actually felt awful, but I had to be honest. My reply was, “I think the choir is not the best use of the gifts God has given you, but how about if I help you figure out where is that place?” Their eyes lit up. “Would you help us find a place we can serve together?”

After talking a while I realized they were very warm and welcoming people, so down to earth with a good humor about them. They would be perfect for serving on our hosting team, what other churches call ushers. We had a team of greeters at the outside doors and another that handed out bulletins and welcomed people into the Worship Center. They started the next Sunday and were still there when I left the church fifteen years later.

The Moral

So many times people do not have a realistic view of their own gifts and abilities. We’ve probably all seen the American Idol audition episodes where horrible singers get in front of the judges. We can’t believe they actually think they are good singers. The worship team draws the lion’s share of these because people really want to be on stage in front of people (a warning sign right there!) whether they are gifted or not.

Lesson one is to have some sort of audition process for all your teams. You can determine how strict it will be, but a process serves several functions. First, you can determine why a person wants to join your team. Good answers involve an acknowledgment that God has gifted them, that they feel called to serve, that they love Jesus and want to bring glory to God. If they believe these then hopefully they will be open to redirection if they don’t audition well. Wrong answers will revolve around their talent, their ability, that they want to be on stage, that their friends/family told them they can sing/play. In the audition you’re not just assessing their ability or talent to sing or play. You’re also assessing their heart as a servant, their heart for the church.

Second, as worship pastors we must realize that everyone who is a follower of Christ has been given a gift to serve the body (Eph. 4:12, 16). If a person comes to us who is not honest or self-aware of their abilities, then we as shepherds must be lovingly honest with them and help them discover and use their gifts so that all can be fulfilled in the body of Christ. To allow someone to serve in an area for which they are not gifted deprives the body of someone who can serve better in a different ministry. To use Paul’s analogy, if someone wants to be a mouth but they are gifted to be a thumb, then the body will suffer by not having that thumb in the right place.

Third, rather than just saying “No” to someone who auditions for your team, offer to help them discover where they might be gifted to serve. Many churches use a spiritual gifts survey to help with this. If a person is committed to that church, they will put forth the effort to discover where they are best suited to serve. You win, they win, and the church wins.

To be perfectly honest, in my years of ministry this process has not always worked the way it did with the couple in my story. Unfortunately, many who are told they are not suited to be on stage leave the church. While I come away disappointed that I could not help them, their departure spoke volumes about their lack of commitment to the church and improper motivation for serving in the worship ministry.

Remember your role as a worship pastor is about giving the people in your ministry the tools they need to succeed in serving the Lord in your church, wherever that may be.